May 4, 2011

Social Funk

Lately I've been in a funk, socially speaking.  I say things I shouldn't say, or I talk too much and laugh too loudly.  I am telling myself in my head to shut up, or not to say certain things and I don't shut up and do say those things I didn't want to say and I make someone uncomfortable.

Overall I am a friendly person and enjoy talking to people.  I make jokes and like to make people laugh.  But lately it's like I'm just a big weirdo and nobody gets my jokes.  I arrive to a conversation only to find that all of a sudden it seems private.  Or I walk into a room and everyone is already with the people they want to be with and I feel excluded.  I ask myself what I'm doing wrong, or what's wrong with me.  I have felt this way off and on over the years.   I know it has partly to do with my own insecurities.  I want to connect with the people around but it feels like I'm speaking a foreign language.  It feels like nobody gets me.  And that is a very lonely feeling.


  1. I feel this way sometimes, too. I have a few local friends, but no one that I'm super close to. My best friends, that I do fit-in with are far away.

    Even among a homeschool crowd with other homeschool moms, I don't feel like I fit.

    We should talk some time - we can be loud and laugh like crazy and say whatever might be incorrect or not right. :)

    Do you have skype?

  2. Thanks Emily. I appreciate your words of empathy.