September 21, 2010


Lately I have been reading a ton of expat blogs. I have seen such evidence of brave women who have followed their husbands to Mexico, mainly because of immigration problems and I am just amazed at them, truly amazed.

I don't feel brave. I feel kind of like a weird-o since I have chosen to be here. Lately I have kind of been wishing to pack it all up and move back to Georgia, husband or not. I mean, I figure he has his visa, he can come visit. I don't know, even after living here for so long I still have days where I just want to ram my car into whichever bus, truck, vehicle du jour that has cut me off at the moment. I find myself cursing everybody who looks at me the wrong way and especially the ones who can't understand me because of my accent.

Once a co-worker who'd lived in Paraguay and had been married to a man from there told me: "Once you've lived there (Mexico, Paraguay, etc.) you're never happy anywhere." Talk about a depressing statement. But sometimes it feels true. I know that when I go back for a visit, eventually (its been three years since i did), I will feel totally backwards and out of place for part of the visit. And I know that a lot of the time I feel so much anger here I don't even know where I had it stored. I get depressed when I think about my niece and nephew I have seen only once or twice, or never. I feel sad to be so far away from my family. I have grandparents that I will probably never see again in this is depressing. My mom is really the only one in my family who comes to dad has never been here where I live.

But this is the life I have chosen. Today it feels so gloomy to say that.


  1. Thank you for sharing your life with us here. I too have found lots of support by reading the blogs of so many women who have found their lives uprooted from the familiar and have started all over here in Mexico. We have diverse backgrounds and we truly come from all over the age spectrum, but we find ourselves sharing so much more in common here than we ever could have previously imagined~~gail

  2. Thanks Gail. I know. I feel like I have friends who don't even really know me :) That's why I wanted to start writing more regularly so my "imaginary blog world friends" could see that I'm not a crazy stalker but I'm a real person who feels a kinship with them because of all of our shared experiences!