Dreaming of you

Me and my grandma at my aunt's wedding.  I was four or five.

My beautiful grandmother, Marian Alta Truesdle Griffin, passed away last night.  She was surrounded by her children, husband and a few friends who sang hymns to her until her very last breath.  I know it is no coincidence that when she died they were singing a hymn called Blessed Assurance.  There is a line in it that says: Perfect submission, perfect delight, visions of rapture now burst on my sight.  Angels descending bring from above, echoes of mercy, whispers of love.  That is when she left, during the angels part.  That is not coincidence, it was a gift.  And now she's in heaven, surely hugging her brothers and father and mother and dear friends.

The last time I was able to visit was when Alex was one.  I know she didn't hold it against me.  Once I came to Mexico it just got a lot harder to get there.  And now with two children it is almost impossible.  We wanted to go this past winter since we were in Georgia, but made the decision not to, foreseeing the very long car ride with a very whiney four year old.  

I don't have any regrets.  I spent every childhood summer with her and many Christmases as well.  I'm so glad I knew her.  Her gentleness taught me so many lessons over the years that I didn't even know I was being taught.  Everytime I woke up before dawn to go to the bathroom or because of a nightmare, there she was, reading her Bible and writing in her notebook.  I guess when you raise six children you learn to wake up very early for those few quiet moments. If I wanted to make something she would help me figure it out, whether it was a craft project, some cookies or something sewn.  She was so patient with me, and all her grandchildren. 

Last night I dreamed about her.  All night long I dreamed about her quiet gentleness and considerate kindness.  I dreamed of her laughing about something funny one of her grandchildren did or said.  I dreamed of her in her kitchen canning vegetables and baking cookies.  I dreamed of her in her garden and hanging clothes on the line. I dreamed of her whistling a song.  The words quiet, gentle spirit come to mind.  All night long I dreamed of her and I awoke thinking how much I want to be like her.  

My uncle wrote yesterday that she graduated from life.  I would like to say that she graduated summa cum laude; with the highest honors.  She leaves behind a legacy of love.  Someday if I even resemble her a little bit, maybe I'll graduate with honors too.